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Monthly Archives: November 2016

Benefit be Shy Guy

Being shy can work for you at first, but it won’t get you what you want in the long run. Women want a man to be confident and assertive. Then they can be a woman! If you don’t step up to the plate, you’ll bring out the “mother” in them and be relegated to the “friends” category. You’ll have lots of female companionship, but no romance.

So keep in mind a little boy you’ve seen recently, and avoid doing the things that little boys do with their moms – they ask permission, they worry about pleasing her, they never take initiative, they aren’t spontaneous, they don’t know what they want, and they expect to be taken care of.

You don’t need any of that, so make sure you aren’t giving the wrong impression.

Dating is frustrating to everyone. I coach men and women both, around emotional intelligence, dating and relationships, and I hear the same thing from both sexes. It’s frustration, rejection, confusion, and mystery until it works out, and it will. No one knows what’s going on, so just hang in there. Men that have a lot of bravado are just covering it up. No one likes to strike out, but everyone does. If you don’t step up to the plate and take a swing, you can’t get a home run. It’s as simple as that. It gets easier with time, your odds improve as you practice, and the reward is definitely worth it. Eventually you’ll see a ball coming over the plate you know is a home run, and you can hit it out of the park.

1. Monitor your self-talk. Keep it positive and affirming. Talk to yourself the way you’d talk to a buddy you wanted to encourage.

2. Monitor the self-talk of other guys. If it’s one thing guys lie about, it’s their prowess with women. Every man’s in there taking his knocks just like you are.

3. Your emotions don’t have to stop you in your tracks. You can be nervous and keep going. You can be worried about rejection and still take a risk. This is like a workout, building character muscle, aka tolerance for frustration.

4. Start from the inside out. What are you shy about? Make a list of all you have to offer and believe it. If there’s something you need to work on, get some coaching and take care of it. Otherwise, take pride in who you are and stay centered. Not all the women will like you, but you need all the women. You just need HER.

5. Practice where it’s safe. Being outgoing is something you can try with the person next to you in the grocery line. Talk to strangers. Watch outgoing people and see what specific behaviors they do – the eye contact, the tone of voice, the posture, the conversation-starters. It isn’t a mystery, it’s a set of skills, like a tennis serve.

6. If she asks you out first, that’s fine, but you must take charge or you’re going to be moved into the “just friends” category. Take over and be spontaneous. Don’t ask her what she wants to do or where she wants to go. Plan something any woman would enjoy and expect her to go along. Use your gut feelings.

7. Don’t try and please her all the time. This gets annoying with time. Just be you and go! Any healthy woman will squawk if she doesn’t like something. Otherwise, assume all is well and carry on.

8. Have an opinion and express it.

9. Talk as well as listen. There’s nothing more attractive than someone who gives us their undivided attention, but take your share of it, otherwise she’ll see you as a doormat and lose interest. Set your ipod alarm if need be – it’s time for you to talk!

10. Kiss her when you feel like it. It’s easier to get forgiveness than permission. She’ll let you know when she’s ready. Go with your gut.

Work on The Similarities

For a couples to remain together, there has got to be something similar between both. Similar liking, interest, characteristic… The more the similarities there is between the both of you, the better the chances of a development of a further relationship there will be.

What are the similarities between both that you can work on? First of all, the physical appearance of course. Your physical appearance is the very first thing that catches a person’s eyes, the eyes of that special someone. Take note of the type of dressing style he or she likes? How is he or she normally dressed? A trendy and hip? Casual and sporty? Smart casual? Try to dress so, dress in the style he or she would like. Think about it, if you were someone who is very concern with the neatness and cleanliness of your physical appearance, would you like someone who is always so shabbily dressed?
Naturally, a person would tend to enjoy the company of another who generally dresses similar to that of him or herself. Don’t you find it so within your usual group of click?

Next would be the hobbies and interest. What sports does he or she like? Does she play the piano? What type of movies does he or she enjoy watching? Does she love animals, dogs? Does he love fishing? What flowers does she like? Hmm… knowing his or her habits will be good too. Where does he or she normally hang out? Does she hate crowded places? How many cubes of sugar she like for her coffee? Does he hate shopping? Well in simple, find out anything possible under the sun about him or her. Not a clue where to start? Friends would be a good source to start with.

OK guys, now that you know what she likes, it’s time to plan for a little nice and enjoyable date with her. It’s afterall still a guy’s job to ask the girl out, right? Notice I used the word “enjoyable” instead of a nice and “romantic” date? Well, a date involves two persons. To allow the chance for a further development of a relationship, the chance for a next date, you have got to make her enjoy the date, enjoy the time spent with you.

Take her to places that she likes, serve her food that she enjoys eating. “Oh medium cooked for the lady please…” Present her with flowers that she likes. She will be so surprised and impressed by you. “Oh Rick, how do you know that I love Pink Tulips? It’s so sweet of you…” Plan activities that she has always enjoyed. Watching a movie that she likes at her favorite cinema? Bringing her to her favorite musical, “Phantom of The Opera”?

Tips Impress a Woman

1) He tries to only say “cool” things, or things that will “impress” the woman.

2) He acts nervous and stilted during the conversation… sometimes coming across as “formal”.

3) He tries to figure out what the woman wants to hear.

4) If he says something that the woman doesn’t like, he “back-pedals” and tries to change what he said to suit the woman.

5) He doesn’t say anything “risky”, doesn’t tease the woman, and doesn’t do anything to upset her.

Surprisingly enough, those are big turn-offs to women. There are 5 things that you need to remember to impress a female on a first date. Remember to shower, put on fresh deodorant and cologne before going on a date. One of the biggest turn-offs for a woman is when their date smells bad!

1) Keep it casual. Always try to be polite, but don’t come across as being formal. Open the door for her, pull out her chair so she can sit and push her in. If eating at a restaurant, ask her how her food is and if her beverage gets low, make sure to call the waiter/waitress to get her a refill.

2) Keep talking! I cannot stress this enough. Awkward silences are terrible on dates. Ask her questions about herself, to make the female feel like you genuinely care about her past life. Try not to make it sound like an interrogation though. Ask things like ‘So have you ever been outside of the U.S.’ or ‘So where do you work?’ Don’t ever ask anything personal that could offend her.

3) If you had a good time on your first date, ask her if she wants to go back to your place for some coffee. If the date didn’t go so well, or you are getting vibes that she isn’t interested in you, just offer to drop her off at her house. On the way to her house/your house, ask her if she enjoyed it. If it sounds like she had a good time, talk about how you enjoyed it and want to know if she would go out with you again sometime.

4) (Assuming you are dropping her off at her house.) Walk her up to the door. On the way there, talk about how much fun you had with her. Give her a hug good-bye, and walk back to the car. Never stand at the door waiting to get invited in. Women in general find this very rude. Being rude to your date is just about the worst thing you can do.

Self discovery

With the wisdom of Y.O.U., you will acquire a heightened awareness of what lies in the obvious. All too often we dismiss what stands right before us. In today’s world we are in such a state of information overload and bombardment that we can’t see the forest for the trees. This means it’s very easy to overlook the man of your dreams; the one that the universe put on this planet for you to connect with. He essentially gets lost in the chaos of this lifetime’s mind chatter. The Ancient Wisdom of Matchmaking will teach you how to clear the room so you can see him standing before you.

You may be asking, “What sets this body of information apart from other profiling systems? How does this differ from Meyers-Briggs, Littauer and Jungian theories of personality typing? Where does this intersect with Carolyn Myss’ archetypes and John Gray’s Mars Venus analysis? The answer is simple. Y.O.U. is objectively you upon discovery. Other typing systems are layers of refinement that clothe and enhance the body of Y.O.U.

Body Typing is one of five revealing aspects used in the once highly revered process of Matchmaking. We refer to it as Personal Style. It is the beginning of a very basic understanding of Y.O.U. There are seven distinct Styles when identifying men and women. Personal Style being the most obvious, becomes the most essential in identifying the ultimate partner. It tells us in objective terms what kind of being we are dealing with. If you were looking at a tree, you may be able to tell at first glance that it is an Oak tree as opposed to a Willow. If you were looking at an automobile you may have enough information at first glance to know that you are looking at a Mustang versus a Corvette. People are no different. They are as easily distinguishable as are types of trees, cars, dogs and cats.

There are Seven Personal Styles

Once we educate ourselves and come to know and understand what kind of vehicle serves as home for our spirit, then we can make decisions that are more suitable for its optimal growth and in planning its journey. Refining this part of the process is fun and revealing. Often times things begin to make sense for the first time in a long time. You begin to no longer blame yourself or others for past failures but realize that much of what we fail at is based on signing up for something that is not in alignment with our Personal Style. For example, one would not take a Ferrari on an unpaved mountainous excursion. It’s not that it can’t be done but chances are the car will be in need of great repair at the journey’s end and the price that one will pay to restore it may not be worth it. The same is true for many human beings. Their personal style simply does not afford them the luxury of traversing rough terrain.